Chanani, Meet the Real Superheroes

So, I couldn't hook a R' Lau sighting for Chanan, which truly disappointed me. Imagine growing up and one day realizing, "I met Elie Wiesel when I was 5." That's what this would have been like, but more, in my mind, for my son.

Fast forward to yesterday: Due to a blackout, I bumped into my old friend, Lisa at the JCC, who just got a new job starting next week: Claims for Holocaust Survivors. I vented my feelings on making sure our 5+ year olds start meeting survivors - so they see who they are, that they existed, and they grew up - and later on understand what a miracle that is and know it happened. Not even hearing the words "Holocaust" or "survivor" now, but just registering a memory of real people for later. It happened that there was a Survivors lunch scheduled for the next day and they needed volunteers. I would bring Chanan.

I asked him last night if he would come with me the next day to volunteer at a very special lunch for some very special older people, older than Bobby and Zaidy. He agreed then he started asking:

C: Who are they?
Me: They used to be superheroes.
C: Really?
Me: Yup, but like all people, they get older and they look like all the other old people. You can't even tell. They helped us, now it's our turn to help them.
C: What did they do?
Me: They went through a war (and helped save the Jewish people). I'll tell you more about it when you get older.

I picked him up from school at 12. He handed out the fortune cookies and put a smile on several faces. There were about 40 people in the room. I hope he'll come with me again and we eventually get to know some of the folks.

Tonight, when Chanani went to bed, he asked again if I could tell him more about those superheroes we helped out today.

I will, when you get older. Hopefully, some of them will too.

Delivering Your Message

Today I attended a conference for Jewish communal professionals hosted at the PH JCC. I enjoyed the breakout sessions I attended, but I especially enjoyed being surrounded by people whose job it is to do good for the Jewish community, to whom I can spout my ideas without that glassy look forming over their eyes before the 5 minute mark, instead of 2.

Irony: I attended a session about effective speaking and delivering one's message. I am particularly poor at getting to the point in conversations. During the session, I volunteered to go through my shpiel with the presenter to see how she can help me tighten and focus my core message, etc. I offered my shpiel about setting up a communal fund for Baltimore day school education funded by the grassroots, and she moved me from there, etc.

Afterwards, one of the other members of the session approached me to ask whether I knew that they were already doing something like that - particularly endowment. I let her know I was aware of their initiative and that this was something different. Then two more ladies from that same institution chimed in.

The presenter had just finished discussing a study at UCLA that discovered that your audience takes in your message 7% from your words, 37% from your voice, and 56% from your body language.

Their bodies were essentially turned away from me, their voices were cold, reproachful, and a little intimidating, and their words said: We're already doing that. We have hundreds of people already giving to a fund for Baltimore day schools. Have you spoken to so-and-so? Or so-and-so? They were not encouraging - like let me introduce you... let's see if there's some way to help each other out or give you information (like the first woman who approached me helpfully). It was: leave it all up to us. But last I checked, there was still a shortfall of cash needed to sustain our schools. So no, I am not leaving it up to anyone.

Did they mean there shouldn't be other initiatives to help contribute from a different angle? Would a separate grassroots effort toward this cause hinder other initiatives? I have been seeking answers to those exact questions so I can help build something in a more compatible context for smaller givers. Feel free to say that to me. I've experienced the fly treatment, but it's particularly off-putting coming from the Save-the-Flies folks. You didn't bother to ask what it is that I'm doing different from what you're doing.

These ladies' reaction was truly astounding and off-putting. Collaboration, my foot. Welcoming, my something else. Their institution is doing amazing things for day schools - to be a nationwide example. Ladies, represent! You're supposed to be the good guys.

my son, that is a real superhero

r' israel meir lau is coming to baltimore. he's speaking this sunday at the chanukas habayis for bnos yisroel. monday, he will be addressing some of the older students.

i have been cyber-stalking his oratory via youtube. i have been absorbed in his book, "Out of the Depths," and i have this burning desire to have my 5-year-old son meet him and hear him speak.

no, he's too young to attend a lecture for adults and he's persona non gratis there anyway. but i wonder whether r' lau has been scheduled to speak on this whirlwind engagement to the very young - the ones who will remember his visit, who may not remember his exact words, but may not have many similar opportunities in the future.

r' lau repeats that he does not remember the outbreak of WWII. he was 2. but he says he remembers everything that happened to him after the age of 5, when his father and brother were taken from his family to treblinka.


i have been counting the days to hear r' lau speak. but i can read his book. i have heard and met at least a dozen of these embers. my son has met two. one of his great grandmothers and one of his great grandfathers. but they passed on when he was two.

my son is 5. he is obsessed with superheroes. in the five to eight years it will take him to be "of age" to attend speeches of this sort, i am saddened to think of how many of these Jewish treasures will still be left.


while he has so much to say to us, the grown ups, i would give up my seat to give these young children the opportunity to have met a real Jewish hero, to say they heard him, they saw him, and he did exist.

The Shidduch Experiment c. 2003-2005

So, this one's for the good 'ol days. I didn't read through two years of blog posts to weed out the wasted words, but I gotta admit, these were too darn funny to keep hidden online. If you find anything objectionable, please call the Ichud L'Harbotzos HaShtooyos al HaInternet, number available only in a NJ yellow pages. Here goes nothin! And the address is..... http://tobis23.20six.co.uk/

dear unmatched socks (you lil' buggers),

you think you got it bad? (thanks to my lovely husband for cooperating and making this several evenings' activity. yet another sign of your true devotion. to that, i probably owe you something like watching 20 minutes of Chuck Norris, MIA. possibly less, because that is not fun. this was.)